'cause there's beauty in the breakdown.

beauty in the breakdown?

Seems like at the moment, that is all I can do, and the only good think I can take from them is that I should be thankful that I have people that close?

I am finding it really difficult to settle.  I have come back from trips before, and I have been able to just JUMP back into life and be super happy and actually there. But this time is certainly different.

I can't seem to jump, or be super happy.

Oh and I am constantly zoning out. Not too good. It isn't even being here that is SO bad. It's not. It's just that its not there. And it isn't even "there" that I miss. It is them that I miss.

I keep waiting for this moment to arrive.

That moment of, 'e, you WILL be ok. Everything will work out.

I have great friends and family here.

It's just different, and I am just having a hard time transitioning.

I am also finding that I am really quiet. I never used to be quiet. Well not this quiet. I just am realising that I don't have much to say. Anything that I am talking about is stuff that happened to me when I was there. And sure that is "normal" because I have been home for a week. A week. 7 days. That isn't that long. I am quite happy just sitting and not having to fill the space. I mean I have SO many stories, but so many that I don't even know where to start.

Life is crazy.

Living on the other side of the planet from the people you hold most dear.

Is a lot harder than I thought it would.

And I thought it was going to be REALLY hard.